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/halp/ - Advice and Requests

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Anyone else sometimes get trapped in this circle? How do you get out of it?


inb4 kill yourself


By not getting too obsessed with the "Big Picture". Turn everything into chunk-sized tasks/objectives, - something manageable.

Do small things that give you energy or a positive outlook on things. Be it a simple walk, quick work-out, clean your house/apartment etc.

Make a to-do list, but fill it with "small things" too. Not just the big, exhausting stuff. Throw in stuff like: "do the dishes", "do your laundry", "send an e-mail to …", "go for a walk with the dog/cat/otter", whatever gets you going.

That's what works for me, at least.


Life coach here.
Starting out with the little things are great, but relying on motivation in the first place is the real trap. Motivation is fleeting, needs constant refreshing and is never sustainable.
Focus on building grit; the ability to keep doing stuff even though you don't feel like it at the moment. It's a skill that requires time and willpower to build and it can be exhausting at times, but it get easier and almost effortless after a while.
Consistency is key. Starting out by focusing on getting the tiniest amount of anything done each day, then building from there.




Also, work on how you are judging yourself for not doing anything, you're creating that guilty feeling yourself.



Sure. Agree, but building grit also require willpower, hehe. Or at least the ability to ignore or over-ride your resistance. The small things I was thinking of were… well, just that, small things that don't require much at all. Just something to check on your list, make you feel like you've started, at least. Then you can use that momentum to get started on the rest. If that makes sense.

I'm no expert on this. But works for me, at least.


I completely agree, this is what i mean by starting out by getting the tiniest possible amount of anything done every day.


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Then we agree, hehe. I somehow missed that sentence of yours.



Are you still around, OP? :P


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OP here.

I probably should have clarified this a bit.
It's not that I don't do anything or not do important things like for work or school or chores.. The things I have to do I get done, some earlier, some later. I still feel as though I'm doing nothing somehow.. Like, doing nothing with my life. It's also not that I don't have enough free time, I just feel so powered out that I don't really do anything. When doing the things I must do I have so many ideas what I want to do when I have free time but when it comes all the motivation is gone. And that drags me down..


Life coach again.

In the psychology of happiness, or "subjective wellbeing" which is the scientific term, there are two types of happiness.
Hedonia (pleasure in the now) and Eudaimonia (personally meaningful actions).
Do you have a lot of meaningful elements in you daily life? Or in your life at all?
Eudaimonia can of course also be subjectively defined, for some it can be helping others, and for others it can be making a lot of money or having a great relationship with the family or a partner.

Now, there's a lot of ongoing debate on hedonia and eudaimonia between different schools of psychology, some arguing that a purely hedonistic life is optimal, some arguing the opposite, and some arguing that a healthy balance is the best.
My experience is that both the desire and need for both concepts are subjectively defined, but it seems to me that what you are describing here might be a need for and lack of eudaimonia in you life.
How does this resonate with you?


Here's a relevant in-depth description on the concept.


Have you conquered the world, OP?


do nothing → don't care → do something → still don't care

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